gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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