BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize