I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
