It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
