I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I could make wine with my vomit
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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