last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Randomize
