i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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