Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
