she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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