i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You took a bar mat shot.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
