Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think your dad took our porno
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
