I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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