you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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