Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
