I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
