that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
