Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I didn't shave. On purpose
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
