I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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