i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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