Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize