Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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