Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
