maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
