This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She's the barista slut.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How does one acquire holy water?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
