I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
A+ Viking dick
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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