Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
