what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
