Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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