I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize