Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
