xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize