i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Watching her eat just hurts me
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
