dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
