I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
