its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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