they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize