I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
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before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
3 2 1 whiskey
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Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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