i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
