It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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