Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
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