Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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