i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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