Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.

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(209): View more from California

I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.

(859): View more from Kentucky

Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.

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(239): View more from Florida

At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(347): View more from New York

The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09

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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.

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