butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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