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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh

  (513): View more from Ohio

  is this your pickup line?

  Fav 20 1188 5692

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Best. Handjob. Ever.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm guessing Kelly is over?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Nope. Home alone.

  Fav 20 6280 3363

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• (281): View more from Texas

  The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.

  Fav 12 3725 2017

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..

  Fav 3 4393 1454

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.

  Fav 8 1061 1763

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight

  Fav 14 1339 2678

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• (408): View more from California

  No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard

  Fav 3 835 553

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• (972): View more from Texas

  It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.

  Fav 0 582 838

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.

  Fav 1 516 804

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch

  Fav 1 550 446

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