it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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