I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
