planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
