never play flip cup with pint glasses
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
