i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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