he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
