i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
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