I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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