stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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