Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!