I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
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I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.