Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.