OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
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i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
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I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When are your genitals available?