First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.