i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
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Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
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I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"