When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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