I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is it because I queefed?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
