I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
