life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
