He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
