Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm passing your future prison.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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